Just need to vent

[Pam]

I read in a pamphlet after Ryan died to not be afraid to ask people for what I need. So Since he died I've asked my parents and sister to spend more time with me when I'm alone, when the kids are in school. I live about 50-60 mins from my parents and 35 from my sisters. My parents drive 60 minutes to get their dogs groomed once a month.

I ask them all the time to please come out. All I get from my parents is "its too far". They take their dogs on rides, for long than an hour...could they not just once come here???

3 weeks after Ryan died everyone stopped coming over. Sure they would come now and then but since August, not once have either my parents or my sister come to spend time with me. They say I am welcome to come there. Great, but you know, sometimes, most of the time, I just don't feel like driving.

My mom always asks what Im making for dinner. When I go through my depressions I dont cook, it usually only last a couple of days but during that time its what you can find or we get Subway. Is that so bad?? Honestly I want ot know if that is bad. My mom will make me feel like complete shit when I tell her. If she is so concerened then why doesnt she make a dinner and bring it over? Oh I forgot, I live too far away.

It really hurts and when I tell them, like today, they just blow me off. Tell me I'm trying to make them feel guilty...nope, just pointing out that you never come over. If you feel guilty thats all you.

It just really makes me feel bad. Ryan would be so disappointed in all of them.

Just needed to get that off my chest. I know there is nothing anyone can do but it feels good to get it out.

Hope you are all having a great weekend.


Pam

[Smoke]

Vent away...

I think it's people in general that don't want to be bothered, or whatever the reason may be.

My brother for instance...lives diagonal from my parents...not more than 100 feet from there back door and do you think he could stop in once a day to check on them...there are times that they don't see him for a week or more at a time and he goes right by the house...there property lines meet!

It's sad because it's not like you are looking for their pity or anything, just to be their daughter. To me if your having a bad time, would be all the more reason they could stop and pick up a pizza or take out and just spend some time with you.

It's people and in general people don't change.

[ejoyce]

I am sorry. It's hard when people disappoint us - especially family. When I was staying in the hospital with Bob (1.5 hours away from home) I asked if my parents could come up for a few hours so that I could get out of the room, get some fresh air or get some lunch out of the hospital. The lack of sleep and confiment was bad. Nothing compared to what he was going thru mind you. So Mom and Dad drove up stayed 30 minutes went to lunch without me and left.

What?

I'm guessing that they didn't know what to do, how to help. That the situation made them uncomfortable. So they left. Maybe it's the same for your family. Doesn't make it right though.