Feeling Good

[Pam]

Finally getting around to reading this. Only on Chapter 3 but find this very interesting. When I first started reading it I thought, well I have a handle on my depression not sure this book is for me. And I do have a better handle on it, absolutely no doubt about that. This is probably just not a good time of year to be taking the BDC, or maybe it is? Th anniversary of Ry’s accident is this Friday. Mid January rolls around and my body knows it’s coming. What I’ve avoided doing this year, so far, is my countdown, 9 years and 340 days ago today I still had Ryan, 9 years and 339 days ago we had coffee together, it’s exhausting. I also have not looked at the accident photos. This desire is quite strong but so far I have not looked.

So back to the book, my BDC text showed I was moderately depressed. You score for the last week. My first instinct was to panic, here I thought I was getting better. Read on and realized I AM better, just going through a rough time. I’m curious to see how I score around mid March.

One quote I really liked “Your thought actually creates the emotion” nothing new but hit home. Going to write this out and put it up around the house.

Thanks for the recommendation fish, I think I’m going to get a lot out of this book.

[Pam]

Chapter 3.
I’ve read most of it twice already. I already know this is a book I’ll be reading more than once.

One quote from the book that hit home for me was
“When you’re sad your thoughts will represent a realistic interputation of negative events. When you are depressed or anxious your thoughts will always be a illogical, distorted, unrealistic or just plain wrong”

I’ve bern trying to put into words how much better I feel. I’m still horribly sad about losing Ryan, but it’s not turning into depression. This has been a blessing and a curse. I’m now having to face all these issues I’ve avoided by “hiding” behind my depression.

Can really see myself in most if not all the Cognitive Distorsions. Definitely an all or nothing thinker. In fact Kara was just talking to me about that. Looking forward to learning how to change that.

The one I really identify with is Personalization. Hoping I can learn to let go of this awful, painful behavior.

Need to get things done around so making myself put the book down after each chapter and get chores done.

Thanks again fish.

[fish]

OK, now I'll make a real effort to find my copy.
Glad you like it so far.
I remember that the many personal vignettes in the book can get a little tiresome, but I thought they were still somewhat enlightening.

[Pam]

Chapter 4, a much needed chapter, building self-esteem. I’ve already been working on this with Kara. Ive has some pretty great insights but I need more work for sure.

So looks like I have homework. Will be interesting. I’m going to use the more detailed way of recording my thoughts. I think it will help me to see what situations spark my negative thoughts. I’ve already been trying to be more aware of my thoughts but I think actually writing them down will be helpful.

I’ll share some of the less disturbing ones

Fish I hope you find your book!

I have another book my doc wants me to read, Stop Saying you’re Fine by Mel Robins, not 100% sure that’s the name of the author. May start reading it in conjunction with this one.

[fish]

still looking. have to check at other house.

i have found that it can be helpful to have someone close read the "bad thinking" guidelines so they can point out what you are doing when you are doing it.
works both ways, too.

[Pam]

I’ve already employed Kara to do that. She helps me see things I don’t really want to see.