Mom

[Smoke]

Dad & Aid were able to get Mom up this morning...Dad said she ate well. I was home at lunch, she was a bit sluggish but once I got her awake she seemed to come around..I didn't get her up figured she would be ok till I got back this afternoon...what a roller coaster!

Hang on tight Pam...your in for a ride!

[fish]

we are thinking of you.

[Pam]

Oh geez I know. My dad has made it clear he doesn't want to move in with me. Hurt my feelings, hell yes. I've done so much for both of them. But if he prefers a nursing home over me there is not much I can do about. Wonder if he will ever really realize how lucky he is to have kids that are so willing to, and do, take such good care of them.

Oh well, I'll just keep doing what I do...

[fish]

is it possible that your father is expressing the substance of an adult lifetime of his experience, his conversations with friends and family, and his thoughts about this, but expressing it all badly ?

i have known folks who come to conclusions for all the right reasons but who announce those conclusions in all the wrong ways.

we all have seen parents moving in with children amd seen what happens in any number of cases. we are old enough to know that the result is often very very hard on all concerned.

maybe he wants to spare you.

[Smoke]

LOL I don't think I could live with my Dad again..My Mom expressed very clearly that she didn't want to go to a nursing home...Dad never said what he wants...I just hope it's a heart attack quick and easy AFTER My Mom passes! I Luv my Dad and would do anything for him...but......He leaves crumbs on the counter 10 seconds after I wipe up the ones from before.

[Smoke]

Back on the roller coaster...Mom got sick the other night, she ate well..I gave here a little yogurt..she hasn't had to many milk products. She did have pudding and some rice pudding and didn't seem to have any problems...anyway Dad called about 7:00 the other night said she got sick and he cleaned her up, said I didn't need to come out...about 10 min later he called back and she got sick again. I went out, got her cleaned up and settleed back in the lift chair figuring it would be easier for Dad & The aid to get her up from that, knowing since she was sick she wouldn't be as strong.

Dad called me at work about 8:00 and said they couldn't get her up. Had the hospice nurse stop by and all her vitals were ok hoping she would bounce back today. Got her up this morning and she had a lg BM...I've had this happen twice before that when she needs to go she get's really out of it and weak. Ok hoped till I got home from work she would maybe take some water or eat a bit...she did take a little applesauce and a few sips of water at lunch..thought good!, were back on track...wrong...she wouldn't take anything tonight and was just dead weight again...MY FREAKIN' BACK!!!

So as you all know I absolutly hate it when she gets like this...our society in this respect is more humane to our pets than our people...I vote on an opium pit but what do I know. I'm really getting stressed out...didn't think I was but it's starting to show in my work and in my life...that or it's Early Alz...take me out and shoot me if it's the latter.

I'll keep you all posted on what's going on.

This sucks!

[ejoyce]

Hey Sue,

I am just catching up with your situation. I am so sorry. I know how hard this all is, physically and emotionally. I will keep you and your family in my prayers for strength and comfort.

Eileen

[Smoke]

Thx.
This is why it's good to laugh at an accupuncture needle.

[Smoke]

Thought Mom was doing better at lunch today..she got a few sips of water down and some applesauce....but nothing tonight...she was pretty out of it. Hospice nurse will be there tomorrow...I'm not thinking anything good here.

[ejoyce]

I am so sorry. Praying for a restful night for you all and improvement in the morning.

[fish]

The Gospel today asked the question "Who has sinned, this man or his parents, that he should be born blind."

Jesus answered that none of them had sinned, and went on to give a reason for human suffering that at least seems to offer us some absolution.

But it doesn't work.

We still don't get to know why there is such suffering. We only know that it is not really our fault.

I like to think that those who suffer here get a "go directly to heaven" card.

I guess we'll find out when we get there.

Keep the faith, Smoke.

We are praying for you all.

[Smoke]

Funny how everything I pass or think abouyt brings back a memory of me & my mom growing up..I went by 2 places she used to work at, one was a hunting club..I was pretty young when she worked there but I was always tagging along trying to help..the other was at a golf course, place has since gone out of business and where one of the entrances was is all grown over with grass and weeds...Mom used to take care of all the flowers on the grounds, was always really pretty.

I'm gonna mis my Mom, we had our moments but she's been a great Mom, always supported me even if she thought I was wrong.

She's still hanging on, they want to come today to put in a cath. trying to keep bed sores from getting any worse....I hate this process..she looks so sad.

Dad is hanging in there..Dads always seem to get the shitty jobs in life...I love My Dad..I hope he's ok.

[Pam]

And those memories will always be with you. Even when they make you cry they can still "bring back" your mom.

I've not lost my mom so I'm not going to pretend to know how it feels, but you know I've experienced loss...it's not easy this I do know.

There are no magic words, no formula for carrying it forward in your life. But you'll figure it out, in your time and I'll always be here for you I hope you know that.

Thinking about you and your dad and holding you all in my prayers.

I wish I could do more.

[Smoke]

Well nurses were there and couldn't get the catheter in...wouldn't drain right...urine is concentrated so much and has mucus in it..just as well I think...I really don't want anything sticking out of her if we don't need to.

Every day is harder, I asked Dad if he wanted me to go talk to the funeral director..get to go there tomorrow. weird going before she's gone but the inevitable is going to happen..so be it!

I know she still hears me, all I pray for is that she isn't in any pain and just goes to sleep and doesn't wake up...I'm really ok with that.

I'm doing ok considering everything.

[fish]

Your mother will always be with you, Sue, now and for ever.

Dear God,

Give courage and faith to those who are bereaved, that they
may have strength to meet the days ahead in the comfort of a
reasonable and holy hope, in the joyful expectation of eternal
life with those they love. Amen.

Help us, we pray, in the midst of things we cannot understand,
to believe and trust in the communion of saints, the forgiveness
of sins, and the resurrection to life everlasting. Amen.

Grant us grace to entrust her to thy never-failing love; receive
her into the arms of thy mercy, and remember her according
to the favor which thou bearest unto thy people. Amen.